As a therapist, one of the first questions I ask moms who are feeling anxious, irritable, overwhelmed, or just off is:
How are you sleeping?
I know—when you’re managing the needs of everyone else, sleep can feel like a distant dream. Between late-night feedings, early-morning wake-ups, and the never-ending to-do list running through your head, sleep often ends up last on the list. Maybe you stay up late for a few extra quiet moments of “me time,” or maybe your brain just won’t turn off when you finally crawl into bed. Either way, the result is the same: chronic exhaustion. And it takes a real toll on your mental health.
It’s not always easy to see the connection between sleep and how we feel—but it’s there. In fact, poor sleep is often at the root of that brain fog, irritability, or emotional rollercoaster you’ve been riding.
Ever notice you snap more easily after a bad night? Or feel like you’re holding it together with a single thread? That’s not just parenting—that’s also your tired brain struggling to manage stress. Lack of sleep makes us more anxious, reactive, and emotionally sensitive.
It also plays into depression. Ongoing sleep issues can increase the risk of developing depression, and many moms don’t realize that insomnia can be both a symptom and a cause.
And then there’s the brain fog—that feeling like you’re going through the motions, forgetting what you walked into the room for, looking for your phone while its in your hand, or struggling to make simple decisions. That’s your brain running on fumes.
The truth is, sleep isn’t just “rest”—it’s when your brain sorts through emotions, stores memories, and clears the mental clutter. Without enough of it, you’re not just tired—you’re mentally and emotionally drained.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone—and it’s not just “mom life.” It’s a sign that your body and mind are craving deeper rest.
You may not be able to control the 3 a.m. toddler wake-ups, but here are some simple, therapist-approved habits that can help improve the sleep you do get:
Go to bed and wake up around the same time each day—even on weekends. Your brain loves routine, and a consistent rhythm can help your body know when it’s time to wind down.
Our brains can’t go from full-speed mom mode to instant sleep. Think of yourself like a car—you need time to slow down. Try dimming the lights, doing a few stretches, taking a warm shower, or listening to calming music before bed.
That late-night scroll might feel relaxing, but blue light from phones and TVs messes with your sleep hormones. Try logging off 30–60 minutes before bed and doing something calming instead—like reading or journaling.
Caffeine can stick around for hours. If sleep’s been a struggle, consider switching to decaf or cutting off caffeine after lunch. That 3 p.m. pick-me-up might be part of why you can’t fall asleep later.
If your brain goes into overdrive the moment your head hits the pillow, you’re not alone. Try building in little moments during the day to unload some of the mental load—whether that’s a quick journal session, deep breaths in the car, or talking it out in therapy.
Create a space that feels like a retreat, not another room on your to-do list. Keep it cool, dim, and quiet. Soft colors, calming scents, and maybe a sound machine can help signal to your brain that it’s safe to rest.
I know sleep can feel like a luxury in this season—but it’s not. It’s a lifeline. You’re carrying so much: managing schedules, meals, emotions (yours and everyone else’s), and the endless mental load. You deserve rest—not just so you can keep going, but so you can feel like yourself again.
You don’t have to overhaul your life to start sleeping better. Small, intentional shifts can make a big difference. Maybe tonight, it’s putting your phone away 15 minutes earlier. Or writing out what’s on your mind before bed. Or simply giving yourself permission to rest without guilt.
You’re not lazy. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re tired—and that can be cared for.
Your sleep matters, and so do you.
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